I've been busy finalizing paperwork and creating head space for clear and concise thinking and I haven't blogged in ages. I've been superficially surviving raw fiction but I need to explore the depths - by writing.
This week has been busy. I interviewed a writer who is about to enter the 11th grade. I connected with the Center for Black Literature, I went to Susan Kent's monthly event: Tell it Brooklyn, and had an involved conversation with Erica about the meaning of collaboration.
This is going to be a long and healthy post. I am going to find myself here.
Let's start with the interview. Had I mentioned this is not my first. Do you know that the goal is to find a web programmer before the launch even happens? In July I met with a young programmer who does not want to have to commit to anything. His name is Georgiy, a son of Eastern European immigrants, and was referred by iGotITtoo. A nonconformist to an enviable degree. Even Darwin, the mentor to the Web Programmer, a model citizen who fits in from the country club to the projects, Wall Street to OWS, elite athlete to star at the bar, and so on. Even Darwin was envious of this young man's sense of freedom and inability to conform to the positive learning space that Raw Fiction offers.
This past Tuesday candidate number two met me at the Brooklyn Public Library. He was another direct referral: a young relative of a woman I work with. He goes by the pseudonym of LJ Walker and self-publishes on a website called booksie. He's ahead of the game almost too much so, but I would love to radicalize his mind. He's perfect except he is not community-centric. Which then makes him perfect because it presents a challenge, and I like challenges. And he's confident enough to know that he doesn't want to be brainwashed by a radical like me so I could fail. I don't like to fail.
This situation kind of reminds me of the woman whose memoir I'm transcribing, but in reversed roles. She completely respects who I am but she is Saved and wishes I too were saved. She tells me about the love of Jesus Christ and I know she's not proselytizing at me but sharing and wants to open my heart. As a community activist I feel like I am saved (from the corporate materialism and conformist mentality of the system) and I don't want to force a sense of independence, freedom or nonconformity on anyone, I just want to share it and for it to be embraced unhesitatingly.
I'm flyering. Olin at The Center has been a glorious connection. Yesterday, in the pouring rain I met Maeshay K. Lewis, Program Director at CUNY MEC's Center for Black Literature, who went out of her way to put up copies of my flyer before I'd even delivered them. Thank you Olin, Maeshay and Erica of HMI! And Stephen Haff of Still Waters in a Storm, who I didn't see yesterday because of the rain and didn't meet in March because of a flat tire, but I will definitely, come sea monster or heavenly plague, make it into Bushwick today!
There's something disorganized about my efforts of outreach. It's inexperience. Timidity. Funding. Know-how. But I'm learning and getting the hang of it and being received well by strangers who care about the community as much as I do and are working for and running great organizations and programs. I would fall flat if it wasn't for this giant interconnected community that genuinely wants the best for the youth.
But I'm doing it. I even put flyers for the launch reading on random people's tables at Susan's event last night. I need to digress.
How cute is Susan Kent?! She hid behind the curtain all night so when I saw her briefly it was hard to take in the whole ensemble. Pigtails and hoops. There was a jester cheerleader to her look that was neither mocking nor to be taken seriously. One just wants to sit and chat and look into her eyes and flirt with her all night long. Alas, she has a job to do. Alas, she has a girlfriend. Alas, I'm just a kid to whom she had to explain Flyering at a Bar 101.
Can I digress again? Erica. I've already swooned in a number of past posts. But last night she was wearing a white, 1950s kind of conservative and classy dress. Skirt length, button down. Her hair evokes the passions of our Civil Rights Era. Her intertextuality of style is contemporary: New York City radical to be reckoned with.
And how do I find my way back to the thread of this post? I've thoroughly distracted myself. Zahra, why are you doing this project? I wanted to meet all the greatest women in New York, why else?
Oof, and that takes me back! Erica is contemplating becoming Raw Fiction's Project Consultant. If she had more time to offer I'd make her Executive Director because this girl is like come on Z, get on track, put it on paper. Share the theory, define the vision. And she tells me this in such a way I can totally hear her. Surprise surprise, I don't work well with everyone, I'm incredibly motivated and headstrong and often end up hurting other people's feelings. Other People's Feelings. Ha, that should be the name of my band. Or rather, I'm not even capable of hurting other people's feelings so I keep my mouth shut and then become all repressed and irritable so I end up hurting other people's feelings because they think I don't like them. And it's not that at all! I do really really like most people. I just don't like working with them. Teens are different. I love working with young people because they are just downright honest and I feel like I can be myself.
Fleshing it out, getting it out.
So, Erica needs me to write a job description for Project Consultant, Description of the Project, Motivation behind the Project, Mentor Outlines, Fundraising Plans, Expectations for the Youth, Expectations for Myself: What outcome will satisfy me. Let me throw in a timeline to the launch with it.
DEFINITION!!!!!!
Thou art the bane of my sense of arbitrary experience.
But I'm going to do it because it will be necessary and important. In order to sell this and get some grant money I need visibility with vision.
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